That’s all I got.

My college classmate, Fritz Laeser of Edgewater Inn & Cottages wrote last Wednesday:

Aaron Rodgers, who art in Lambeau, Hallowed be thine arm. Thy bowl will come, it will be won, in Dallas as it was in Lambeau. Give us this Sunday our weekly win and forgive the less-passers as you will not let them pass against us. Lead us not into frustration, but deliver us from the Da Bears. For thine is the MVP, the best of the NFC, and the glory of the Cheeseheads, now and forever. Go get’em. Amen

Meanwhile, Mike Bonadonna who was our fellow Townhall chatter of those CompuServe days had his own version of the Lord’s Prayer:

Our Papa, Who art a Bear, Hallowed be thy fame, Thy championship come, Thy play be run, At home as it is away, Give us this day our Sunday win, And forgive us our turnovers, Though we pounce on those who turnover against us, And lead us not into fourth and long, But deliver us from Rogers. In the name of Ditka, Butkus & the Holy Payton. As it was in 1985, so shall it be in 2011, reign without end. DA BEARS.

The problem for Weir of course was that almost no Republicans have heard of him.  Republicans who like figure skating don’t ask and don’t tell about a skater’s personal life.  Republicans who don’t like figure skating can’t be bothered to notice it.   Weir kept trying.  He refused to go to the White House with the rest of the 2006 Olympic Team.  The most hated Republican of them all should not ruin his pristine goodness.  Again his plot to make conservatives hate him was waylaid by the fact that conservatives have no idea who the heck he is.   Mindless little drones like Weir are convinced they can shock and horrify conservatives.  It never occurs to him that conservatives just don’t care. 

So Weir had to find someone to offend by gosh, and at last he has succeeded.   With great fanfare he announced far ahead of time he would wear real fox fur on his costume at the US Figure Skating Championships.  After a clean short, he spent his entire interview talking about his real fox fur costume.   After a boring 5th place long program, he was placed on the Olympic Team to take his dead fox off to the largest stage in the world. 

Naturally the Animal-Rights Left went nuts.  http://www.nbcolympics.com/news-features/news/newsid=401630.html?__source=rss&cid=   As any conservative could have told him once you get the left riled up there is no riling them back down.  Like a pack of scavenging hyenas PETA will rip and shred till there is nothing left.  Weir wanted to offend people he just didn’t realize that involved hate mail and death threats.    Well Johnny now you know how President Bush feels.   The PC police make the most corrupt skating judge look like King Solomon. 

Once long, long ago I stood in a crowded arena and cheered my throat hoarse for Johnny Weir, because his skating that day was brilliant.  Once he head grace and line and looked like John Curry brought back to the prime of life.  But earning fame and fortune as a figure skater is a lot of hard work.  It requires discipline, sacrifice all those things young punks like Weir have no time for.  It is so much easier to get a reality show by being a tremendous schmuck than to earn your money the way Evan Lysacek and Jeremy Abbot have, through hard work, dedication and great skating. 

Watch the Olympics; root for Jeremy and Evan.  Ignore Weir.  It is the only thing he can’t stand.

Yuna Kim of Korea or one of the Japanese lady’s will win the lady’s Olympic Gold Medal.  This will continue the skyrocketing popularity of skating in Asia and be another nail in the sport’s coffin in the USA. 

Xhu Shen and Hongbo Zhao will be cheated of the Olympic Gold Medal in Pairs and I will be so upset I won’t speak to anyone for a month.  Probably the deal is already made, the Germans will get the Russian vote in pairs in exchange for voting for the Russians in Dance and Men.  Schnapps and Vodka have already been drunk to seal the deal.

Sasha Cohen will pull out of Nationals and still have the nerve to ask to be put on the Olympic team.  The USFSA is just stupid enough to think about it.  Rachael Flatt will win the Lady’s title.  Evan Lysacek will re-claim the Men’s title, but be cheated at the Olympics by the aforementioned Russian shenanigans. 

President Obama will continue his radical agenda to seize control of as much of the private economy as possible.  His declining poll numbers will only make him double down his efforts to force as much socialism  as possible before the 2010 elections.   The dirty politics of his Chicago cronies will become infinitely dirtier after November.  His minions will repeat ad infinitum the mantra that the election shows what a truly racist country we are, creating the worst racial division in this country since 1968.

Those who were wrong about Obama’s moderation will have learned nothing.

Ah when men were men and didn’t need performance enhancing drugs.  And could really sing and dance.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cf9bsMiNXA